Een aantal leuke grappen

......
A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?"
Student: "When I was number one for take-off".
A man telephoned the United Airline office at Denver International Airport and asked, "How long does it take to fly to Colorado Springs?"
The clerk said, "Just a minute."
"Thank you," the man said and hung up.
Many commercial aircraft are stacked up waiting for approach to O'Hare Int'l, ATC has inflicted numerous delays, and some planes are already 1-2 hours late. The WX is good, it's just that there is a traffic bottleneck somewhere. Pilots, passengers, crew are all getting quite frustrated and angry.
ATC: "All aircraft holding, expect 20 minutes additional delay."
Unknown A/C: "Ahhh ... bullshit!"
ATC: "Aircraft making last transmission, identify yourself."
(silence)
ATC: "Aircraft making last transmission, identify yourself immediately!"
(silence)
ATC: "Aircraft using 'bullshit' in last transmission, identify yourself. American 411, was that you?"
American 411: "Approach, American 411: negative on the 'bullshit,' sir."
NW 202: "Approach, NW 202: negative on the 'bullshit."
Delta 55: "Approach, Delta 55: negative on the 'bullshit."
NW 33: "Approach, NW 33: we have a negative on that 'bullshit."
......and so on, right through the entire pattern.
CZQM: "Nova 895 contact Moncton on 127.12"
ARN871: "Over to 127.12, for Nova 871. We'll talk to you later."
CZQM: "Maybe sooner than you think."
(a few seconds pass...)
ARN871: "Uh, Moncton, they didn't want to talk to us on 127.12..."
CZQM: "See what I mean?"
Tower: "Hawk 20, is this the same aircraft declaring emergency about two hours ago ?"
Pilot: "Negative, Sir. It's only the same pilot."
A beautiful summer day with good thermals, near Billund airport, Denmark
ATC: "Gliders 82 and D5, state position and altitude?"
82: Overhead Coal Lake, 6400 feet."
D5: "Same position, same altitude."
ATC (cool, dry voice): "So should I go get my collision report form??"
Tower: "Mission 123, do you have problems?"
Pilot: "I think, I have lost my compass."
Tower: "Judging the way you are flying, you lost the whole instrument panel!"
Controller: "CRX600, are you on course to SUL?"
Pilot: "More or less."
Controller: "So..... proceed a little bit more to SUL."
Gigabyte Aorus X570 Master / AMD Ryzen 9 5900X / G.Skill Trident Z 4000@3800 32GB / PowerColor Red Devil Radeon RX 7900 XTX 24GB | Tesla M3 LR '21