Sorry voor deze lange post.. maar ik kan hem jullie niet onthouden.
Een member van ons heeft een verhaal gemaakt van onze weekend run MC. Waar we dus Raggy voor het eerst hebben gedownd.
Molten Core
A short play by Ullohsteel
Scene
In the bowels of the Molten Core major Domo is sitting having a post tea time ciggy with Gehennas, Lucifron, Shazzrah and Sulfirion. They appear to be sitting around a huge plastic table in what appears to be a cafeteria. There are a couple of empty seats at the table. The other tables are sparsely filled with an assortment of fire lords, lava surgers and molten giants.
Domo – OK , we have the old garrison in over the next coulpe of nights . Last time they were in they woke the bloody boss and I got it in the neck! I do not want that happening again.
The door of the café opens and Baron Geddon enters swiftly followed by Garr.
Domo – Sit down Geddon , we have to get tonights tactics right. I am sick and tired of you lot screwing up and then me getting grief from the big man!
Geddon – Fear not executus for I am made of flame and their souls will burn an eternity of pain in my fiery depths.
Domo – Can the crap Geddon, this is a raid instance not a bleeding’ poetry recital – just get on with your job and don’t let em walk all over you this time.
Geddon – Verily I will combust the very essesnces of their beings
All of the assorted naga sigh deeply. Putting his hand over his mouth Sulfurion audibly mumbles the word ‘wanker’
Garr – Bede bede bede
Domo – For christs sake why the hell is that dumb rock in here again. I thought it was sentient beings only.
Garr – bede bede bede
Lucifron – yeah , you heard the boss , get outa here Garr , aint that right boss , its sentimental beings only aint it boss
Domo – Shut it Lucifron you ass kissing piece of dirt. Remember your place , you are nothing more than a doorman to the kennel
Lucifron mumbles under his breath whilst the other nagas snigger behind their hands. At another table 2 molten destroyers are over heard talking
Destroyer 1 - yeah , I couldnt believe it , the dumb fool used mocking blow, I smashed him good after that!
Attention pans back to the naga's table
Domo – Anyway plans, this week I want the tanks down fast. No more letting em stand up and fight , put em down quickly.
Shazzrah – Is the fat dwarf coming? If he is that won’t be a problem I always put him on his ass.
Gehennas – he aint so fat in fact he is kinda cute
All of the naga’s look disgusted , several eeeeeew’s are heard around the table.
Domo – No I don’t think the Dwarf is coming this week until Monday.
Gehennas – Oooh , I hope its that lovely bobit , she is sooooo dreamy
Domo – gehennas – you realise that bobit is in fact a scotish bloke and not the attractive human female you are imagining.
Gehennas – and the problem with that is?
More general disgust amongst the nagas. Gedon wanders off towards a server yhatch which appears to be manned by a lava surger.
Gehennas – Perhaps it will be that dreamy night elf – he is scrumy
Garr – Bede bede bede
Domo – Get that fricken beast out of here – no animals aloud.
Just at that second the door to the café blows open and in walks Gollemagg followed by Magmadar on a huge leash.
Gollemag – Durrr, ello boss and udduer bosses – me come for food time – where my big dinner – here doggy
The naga’s look at each other and again seem exasperated.Several muffled whispers are barely heard saying ‘half-wit, and cretin’
Domo – Gollemag you bloody simpleton get that damned dog out of here
Lucifron – Yeah Gollemagg get the dog out of here , go on , aint that right boss?
Sulfurion – Don’t know why you are getting on your high horse about it Lucifron , at the end of the day you live with the bloody beast.
Lucifron – I DO NOT ,My cave is quite diastinct from his kennel
Magmadar comes close to lucifron and nuzzles him giving him a big lick
Sulfurion – See , he recognises his flatmate!
Domo – Enough of this , come on we need to plan. The Old garrison are coming and I don’t want the boss bothered by them , he starts giving it that by fire be purged shite and when that happens we are all for it. So usual precautions , hide all the Pally equipment. Stock up on your felheart lads you are gonna need it.
Garr – Bede bede bede
Domo – For gods sake geddon , get that bloody rock out of here now!
Gehennas – You know from that angle , magmadar looks quite noble , even handsome
All others in unison – EEEEEEEEWWW!
Act 2
Later in the Cavern shared by Geddon and Shazzrah
Geddon – Woe for we are undone , oh cruel fate has sent the garrison to smite us and verily shall we be smoted.
Shazzrah is talking to someone on a mobile phone.
Shazzrah – I don’t understand what the hell he is on about , it’s verily this and verily that , half the words he uses I have never heard. To be honest I am getting to the point where I might have to ask that bloody smart arse Garrison Elf Zengi to explain it to me . I mean I am not stupid but honestly………
Geddon – Forsooth the hour of our doom approaches , my flames will be quenched
Shazzrah – Anyway Sulf, gota run , apparently they are flying through , Geddon is getting even more verbose than usual
Geddon snags himself on an outcrop of rock
Geddon – Bollocks…………..erm………I mean…………..Oh foul rock why dost thou torment me with visions of my future suffering.
Shazzrah puts his phone away and focuses on geddon
Shazzrah – Look Geddon , we have to do something , from what I understand they piled through Lucifron and magmadar without breaking a sweat , gehennas spent all his time trying to cop off with that dammed elven warrior mace (although apparently he got the phone number of the other elven warrior) and capitulated too. Seems that the dumb rock has been cracked and I can hear them now in the passage on route to us.
Geddon – Ah ha! Perchance my lava packs will make light of their advances
Shazzrah – Not sure if you have noticed but they don’t exactly struggle with lava packs anymore , we need to think of something else.
Geddon – We are undone, fair Shazzrah my thoughts as I slip into the twisted nether shall be of you
Shazzrah – hang on I have an idea.
Shazzrah whispers into baron geddons …….well he whispers in his general vicinity
Geddon – A most excellent plan my arcane amigo , let us set to it at once.
Eventually Baron Geddon is pulled to Garrs room by the brave garrison hunter Pharazon. But unbeknownst to the garrison a hidden lava pack move in for the kill at the same time. A fierce battle ensues , however despite all odds being stacked against them Baron geddon and all but one of the lava pack are decimated by the might of the old garrison. The garrison move on back towards the tunnel.
Shazzrah – Shit!
Act 3
Major Domo’s room. Huge Bose speakers are blaring out the guitar intro to Guns and Roses Sweet Child of mine. 2 Flamewalker elites appear to be spraying their hair with extra hold haispray. In one corner 2 more elites and 4 healers are crowded around a state of the art plasma screen TV. The seem to be watching a video of a heavily muscled male night elf dancing naked in Ironforge.
All of a sudden the peaceful scene is broken as Domo appears. Domo does not look happy.
Domo – Look lively fools , the bloody garrison have just offed Gollemagg!
Healer 1 – That’s ok boss , they never do more than that on a Sunday , relax and watch a bit of TV. We have strictly mace fever on video here , after that we are watching Christa and Zarra’s laugh a minute priest pulls show.
Elite 1 – Yeah , chill boss , damn garrison wont be here until tomorrow,
Domo – Yeah , I guess you are right , I am just a bit stressed . these folks seem to be getting better and better. I remember the first time they came here , goodness did we kick their asses bigstyle.
Elite 1 – I remember boss , I was with Lucifron that day and they couldn’t even control me , I was wandering all over the place making em look like damn fools.
Domo – Anyway , you are right , I will relax a little . Have to say that elf does dances exceptionally well , do you think he’s gay or straight?
Elite 1 – gay
Elite 2 – gay
Healers 1-4 in unison – gay
Domo – thought so , no straight elf would have that kind of poise and grace.
Suddenly the sounds of GnR are replaced by a loud and quite unforgiving siren. All of the elites and healers jump up at once and Run to positions surrounding domo.
Domo – Oh my god! Oh my sweet firelord inhell , they are coming this way. On Sunday. What on earth is the meaning of this.
Healer 1 – I don’t get it boss, it’s not far off midnight , they don’t usually bother with us until tomorrow , are they gonna wake the big boss up d’ya think
Domo – I am not sure , what I am sure of though is I have had enough of this
Domo pulls a mobile phone out of his……erm….pocket?
Domo – Hello, hello! Yes……….Is that Easyjet? Yes I need a flight…………………………now……………well as close to now as you can get…………………………..anywhere……………………………..ok , anywhere but there… ………………………For crying out loud , I am a creature of flame be sensible , and not Sweeden either………………..Winterspring? Don’t be ridiculous……………………..but you must have something……………….. Well Thank YOU very much.
Domo puts his phone away in disgust. At that moment The Old garrison appear on the horizon. Domo and his henchmen look at each other.
Domo – OK , they are tired , they will probally mess up , lets send em home with a flea in their ears
Elites and healers in unison – Sir yes sir!
Battle is commenced. In a near flawless display of savagery and tactical brilliance major Domo surrenders once the garrison put down the last of his adds.
Domo – Old when the world was young yada yada yada , here’s the chest now come and get toasted!
With that major Domo disappears , teleporting himself to Ragnaros’ lair waiting for the inevitable roasting from his boss. 2 hours pass by
Domo – I cannot believe it! Ha ha , back to the TV for me , might even have a little drinky
The following night in major Domo’s cavern…………
Healer 1 – So they just didn’t show up?
Domo – yeah , bottled it I reckon , spineless gits , realised that I might have got involved , that made em doubt themselves. See minions , when it comes to facing down the enemy its pointless leaving it to others , if a job needs doing do it yourself.
Elite 1 – Boss , boss !
Domo – Not now minion , I am extoilling the virtues of me and my terrible powers
Elite 1 – but boss , you really need to see this boss
Domo – For crying out loud what is the problem.
Major Domo turns to where his minion is pointing. A large group of humans, elves gnomes and dwarves are walking in a relaxed manner towards Domo and his minions. Domo is heard to audibly groan.
Domo – I don’t bloody believe this……….
Act 4 – The finale
Deep in a lava lake Ragnaros is trying to get some sleep. It has been several tens of thousands of years since he last slept and he is feeling really grumpy. Mrs. Ragnaros has gone out to the bingo , she left about 4000 years ago and has not yet returned. Not only is Ragnaros tired , he is also hungry. Just as Ragnaros feels himself drifting off he is awoken by the voice of his aide major Domo.
Domo – Boss , boss! It’s the Old garrison , they are here and appear to be jumping over the lava and practicing for some form of gymnastic event .Hang on they are talking to my animatronic now.
Ragnaros – For Arthas’ sake Domo , I asked you to let me get some sleep , can’t you deal with them?
Domo – Well boss , to be honest I am a bit scared, problem is they killed all of my minions and are insisting on speaking to you. I think they might want yer secrets.
Ragnaros – Bloody secrets, been nuthin but trouble from day 1. I knew I should have told someone , they wouldn’t have been secrets then.
Domo – Anyway boss , I have started the auto tape and our animatronic representations are going through the who ‘behold, earth young, die insect thing’ However I think tonight you might want to buff up because they seem serious.
Ragnaros – hang on , let me just get rid of all this bloody Pally loot I have on me, bloody judgement and lawbringer stuff weighs a ton , not to mention that big bloody sword, let me just try these leather pants on , mmm, snug . Better put some jewelry on too , I want to look my best.
Domo – I have taken the liberty of calling your lads sire, they are a bit busy at the moment but they reckon they will be back in 3 minutes exactly.
Ragnaros – That’s good , always nice to see the boys , they are really growing now , one of them , Richie I think wants to be a paladin when he grows up , I told him it was not appropriate but he is adamant.
Domo – Sire you ought to know there is also a new type of creature here , one that I have never seen before. It appears to be a large talking magical Owl!.
Ragnaros – like professor yaffle?
Domo – yes , just like professor yaffle , but much tubbier.
Ragnaros – No matter anyway, I gguess it will be the usual torch em job , then hopefully back to sleep. Anyway the script must be nearly over – I better emerge for real and start some serious ass kicking. By the way please start tidying up , look more bloody warriors wearing Dark iron stuff. I have asked you not to leave it lying around.
Domo – Sorry sire but it’s magmadar , I think he erm………defecates dark iron.
Ragnaros – Well give that dumb giant Gollemagg a pooper scooper and get him to clean it up, anyway hang on , I love this bit where I one shot you …….ha ha , lets get it on , ooooooh fat lazy dwarf and large muscular well dressed sensitive and stylish Elf , I recon this will be a walkover
In six minutes it is all over. Ragnaros has retreated to his lair defeated by the old garrison. Four months after they first wiped to a pair of molten giants the big bad boss man of molten core is juts another boss heading towards farm status. The joy and happiness is testament to every member of the old garrison past and present who has contributed a little bit of their humour , their spirit , their generosity and their friendship into the biggest guild on the server. Fat dorfs, ‘stylish’ elves, cheeky gnomes and foxy humans rejoice together in the achievements that stretch way beyond the 40 stood in Ragnaros’ lair.
Meanwhile back under the lava Ragnaros licks his wounds
Ragnaros – Bollocks , I gotta do this all over again next week. Where the hell is my tea.
Ragnaros takes another Valium and truies once more to get some well earned sleep. But before he closes his eyes he has one last thought
Ragnaros – Must remember to get rid of all that paladin loot before they come back again.
Fin