Non-windows humor, part 2 :)

[Anoniem: 28844]

Voor als je the Princes Bride kent:

van: http://slashdot.org/comme...6&mode=thread&cid=6729327

(Darl Princes McBride )

OT: (You forgot the best part....) (Score:5, Funny)
by TitaniumFox (467977) on Monday August 18, @11:01PM (#6729327)
(Last Journal: Friday July 04, @02:37AM)

SCO: So, it is down to you, and it is down to me...if you wish Linux dead, by all means keep moving forward.
IBM: Let me explain...
SCO: There's nothing to explain. You're trying to kidnap what I have rightfully stolen.
IBM: Perhaps an arrangement can be reached?
SCO: There will be no arrangements...and you're killing Linux.
IBM: But if there can be no arrangement, then we are at an impasse.
SCO: I'm afraid so. I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains.
IBM: You're that smart?
SCO: Let me put it this way: Have you ever heard or Kernighan, Ritchie, Torvalds?
IBM: Yes.
SCO: Morons!
IBM: Really! In that case, I challenge you to a battle of wits.
SCO: For the kernel? To the death? I accept!
IBM: Good, then untar the source code. [SCO# tar -xvfz code] Inhale this but do not touch.
SCO: [taking a vial from IBM] I smell nothing.
IBM: What you do not smell is our patent portfolio. It is odorless, tasteless, and dissolves instantly in source code and is among the more deadly portfolios known to man.
SCO: [shrugs with laughter] Hmmm.
IBM: [turning his back, and adding the patents to one of the code trees] Alright, where are the patents? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both compile - and find out who is right, and who is dead.
SCO: But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine it from what I know of you. Are you the sort of company who would put the patents into his own source code or his enemies? Now, a clever man would put the patents into his own goblet because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool so I can clearly not choose the code in front of you...But you must have known I was not a great fool; you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the code in front of me.
IBM: You've made your decision then?
SCO: [happily] Not remotely! Because Linux's SMP code originally came from England(1). As everyone knows, England is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me. So, I can clearly not choose the code in front of you.
IBM: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
SCO: Wait 'till I get going!! ...where was I?
IBM: England.
SCO: Yes! AH! And you must have suspected I would have known the source code's origin,so I can clearly not choose the code in front of me.
IBM: You're just stalling now.
SCO: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you! You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong...so you could have put the patents in your own code trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the code in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied...and in studying you must have learned that Man is mortal so you would have put the patents as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the code in front of me!
IBM: You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work.
SCO: It has worked! You've given everything away! I know where the patents are!
IBM: Then make your choice.
SCO: I will, and I choose...[pointing behind IBM] What in the world can that be?
IBM: [turning around, while SCO switches goblets] What?! Where?! I don't see anything.
SCO: Oh, well, I...I could have sworn I saw something. No matter. [SCO laughs]
IBM: What's so funny?
SCO: I...I'll tell you in a minute. First, lets compile, me from my code and you from yours. [They both compile]
IBM: You guessed wrong.
SCO: You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched branches when your back was turned! Ha ha, you fool!! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia; and only slightly less well known is this: Never go in against SCO, when intellectual property is on the line!

SCO: HA-HAHA-HAHA AH-HAHA-HAHA (!!) (THUD!)

[IBM removes the blindfold from Linux]

Linux: Who are you?
IBM: I'm no one to be trifled with. That is all you'll ever need know.
Linux: And to think, all that time it was your code that was patented.
IBM: They were both patented. I spent the last few years building up an impressive patent portfolio.

(1) smp.c
/*
    2 * Intel SMP support routines.
    3 *
    4 * (c) 1995 Alan Cox, Building #3
    5 * (c) 1998-99, 2000 Ingo Molnar
    6 *
    7 * This code is released under the GNU General Public License version 2 or
    8 * later.
    9 */


Re:OT: (You forgot the best part....) (Score:5, Funny)
by Ibix (600618) on Tuesday August 19, @07:15AM (#6731291)
5 * (c) 1998-99, 2000 Ingo Molnar
"My name is Ingo Molnar. You steal my source code! Prepare to die!" Sorry...

[Anoniem: 27915]

The Hax0r Jr. kit. .

Voorbeeldje:

Trixie the Telebubbie-Telnet Doll

Telebubbie-Telnet represents a gigantic leap forward for remote telnet applications. With support for both Telnet and SSH on any port, the usability and configurability sets Telebubbie-Telnet in a league of its own. In an effort to keep your data confidential and secure, Telebubbie-Telnet supports multiple encryptions, including 3DES, Blowfish and DES.

[AlterEgo]

Bush: Alle Finnen moeten worden verbannen uit de V.S.

Gates says his efforts will help maintain the purity of yesterday's software industry. "The software industry is finished with these scandalous Scandinavians," he told a business audience in Seattle last Friday. Gates continued, "They are destroying the very fabric of American life - profits, theft, abuse, and slander!" which was greeted with thunderous applause from the audience of more than a dozen executives.

George Bush, for his part, said that the banning of all Finns from the United States was an excellent and patriotic idea worthy of little study and quick, thoughtless execution. At least, that's what we think he said.

[fictie]

[ Voor 76% gewijzigd door AlterEgo op 26-08-2003 20:41 ]

[Anoniem: 66089]

SCO Group to Shoot Babies

"Statistically, 1% of all people are Linux users. Rather than have these young hoodlums grow up without any respect for our intellectual property, we have chosen to nip it in the bud, as it were," said SCO's CEO, Darl McBride.

In addition, during the campaign announcement, SCO said that individuals could pay $2,499 per child for immunity from execution. "The price goes up to $5,200 dollars after that family's firstborn reaches 18 months, so it is in their advantage to pony up now," McBride continued.

[non-fictie]

[Anoniem: 66089]

[Wilke]

Die laatste krijg ik ook de hele tijd, maar ik mis even wat daar humor aan is.

Binnenkort verandert MS het protocol dus dan zullen ws. alle oude, en Linux-based MSN clients enige tijd niet meer werken

Anyway, discussie daarover liever niet in dit topic maar tegen de tijd dat het gebeurt openen we er wel een topic over

[Anoniem: 66089]

mjah volgens gaim.sf.net kan dat nog best meevallen, ik vond het gewoon zo debiel staan dat ik een onveilige msn client zou upgraden die ik niet eens heb (en het sowieso niet om een security update gaat, maar gewoon ordinair gedwongen wordt te upgraden)

[Maxonic]

## Standard shell script disclaimer blurb thing:
##
## This script is a hack. It's brute force. It's horrible.
## It doesn't use Artificial Intelligence. It doesn't use Virtual Reality.
## It's not perl. It's not python. It probably won't work unchanged on
## the "other" thousands of unices. But it worksforme. --ramiro

Uit een shell script van Mozilla

[Heidistein]

Doe het lekker zelf!!



(Linux kernel panic op een SPARC)

[ Voor 31% gewijzigd door Heidistein op 29-08-2003 19:49 . Reden: plaatjestoei ]

[Anoniem: 45255]

a depressed webserver!!! Deze link leidt naar een 404 pagina, dat is ook de bedoeling! Deze webserver wordt hierdoor net zo depressed als de robot uit hitchhikers guide

http://www.scintilla.utwe...ES/service/crosslink.html

[LeonM]

Anoniem: 45255 schreef op 30 augustus 2003 @ 16:27:
a depressed webserver!!! Deze link leidt naar een 404 pagina, dat is ook de bedoeling! Deze webserver wordt hierdoor net zo depressed als de robot uit hitchhikers guide

http://www.scintilla.utwe...ES/service/crosslink.html

Die is al best wel 404 keer langs geweest

Meer 404 error's

[Anoniem: 4775]

Distro Taste Test - Linux & Beer

[wzzrd]

Anoniem: 81219 schreef op 11 August 2003 @ 11:07:
Uit de Gentoo Desktop configuratie handleiding:

code:

Unfortunately, the evolution build takes slightly longer than forever
(notice that mozilla is a dependency!); have several gallons of coffee/tea while you wait.

En ook de nederlandse vertaling:

code:

Jammergenoeg duurt het compileren van Evolution iets langer dan de levensduur van een
 gemiddelde ster zoals onze Zon (mozilla is een afhankelijkheid!). 
Drink dus je ganse verzameling RedBulls maar leeg terwijl je wacht, 
en ga dan achter een nieuwe set.

Merk het enorme verschil in subtiliteit op. De Engelse auteur zegt 'slightly longer than forever' wat opzich geestig genoeg is. De Nederlandse auteur heeft - hoewel ik zijn inzet respecteer - zoveel meer tekst nodig, dat het eigenlijk niet echt grappig meer is. M.i. had hij beter 'iets langer dan voor eeuwig' kunnen zeggen of zo. Dat is weliswaar een letterlijke vertaling, maar geestiger dan de enorme lap tekst die er nu staat. Maar da's mijn mening

[ajvdvegt]

ook van /.: Microsoft patenteert eenen en nullen

[zerok]

Gnutella/


A plugin shrouded in mystery and intringue included in the standard distribution to torment and confuse new giFT users. Err uhh, I mean I don't know much about it's implementation or specific details of the Gnutella network, so I will leave this as a sort of TODO element for hipnod to complete at his discretion.

Van de giFT pagina http://gift.sourceforge.net

[serkoon]

't Is dan wat oud en ook niet echt non-windows humor, maar grappig nonetheless:

$ lynx -dump www.ilse.nl | perl

[Reptile209]

serkoon schreef op 07 September 2003 @ 12:24:
't Is dan wat oud en ook niet echt non-windows humor, maar grappig nonetheless:

[...]

En voor wie Lynx (ook) niet heeft, de "oplossing" staat hier

[Red Sonja]

De onderste is speciaal voor FreeBSD users
http://www.linuxgazette.com/issue94/ecol.html

[DiedX]

RedSonja schreef op 08 September 2003 @ 23:23:
De onderste is speciaal voor FreeBSD users
http://www.linuxgazette.com/issue94/ecol.html

Sorry, niets toe te voegen, dan een , en een uiteraard

[Anoniem: 81030]

Anoniem: 69767 schreef op 27 June 2003 @ 20:55:
The secret life of Penguins !!


[...]


http://home.t-online.de/home/Bernhard.Hailer/penguin/

Ik heb ook zo'n pinguin.

[MadEgg]

Installeren van yaboot om Linux te booten op een Mac geeft het imo grappige bericht:

code:

Blessing /dev/hda with holy penguin pee...

[Anoniem: 20989]

google op "answer to life the universe and everything" zonder quotes

[YaPP]

Anoniem: 20989 schreef op 09 September 2003 @ 13:33:
google op "answer to life the universe and everything" zonder quotes

huh wat is dat voor een easter egg? hmmz... maar voortaan ga ik rekenen met de adresbalk van mozilla.

[ Voor 3% gewijzigd door YaPP op 09-09-2003 16:33 . Reden: * daarmee kan ik met pijl-omlaag+enter zoeken op google als ik wat termen intyp. ]

[Mior]

YaPP schreef op 09 September 2003 @ 16:33:
[...]


huh wat is dat voor een easter egg?

Komt uit "Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy"

[smokalot]

Reptile209 schreef op 07 September 2003 @ 12:30:
[...]

En voor wie Lynx (ook) niet heeft, de "oplossing" staat hier

hmmm, ik krijg

code:

smokalot@desktop> lynx -dump www.ilse.nl | perl                                 ~ 17:07
ALL YOUR SEARCH ARE BELONG TO US
smokalot@desktop>                                                               ~ 17:07

ook grappig

[ Voor 7% gewijzigd door smokalot op 09-09-2003 17:11 ]

[Red Sonja]

Phantom schreef op 09 September 2003 @ 17:10:
[...]

Komt uit "Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy"

Wie is de schrijver? Lijkt me een leuk boek, als dit soort vragen daarin behandelt worden...

[CyBeR]

RedSonja schreef op 10 September 2003 @ 01:22:
[...]

Wie is de schrijver? Lijkt me een leuk boek, als dit soort vragen daarin behandelt worden...

Douglas Adams. Die boeken (t zijn er meerdere.. trilogie in 5 of 6 delen ) roelen.

[kenneth]

smokalot schreef op 09 September 2003 @ 17:10:
[...]

hmmm, ik krijg

code:

smokalot@desktop> lynx -dump www.ilse.nl | perl                                 ~ 17:07
ALL YOUR SEARCH ARE BELONG TO US
smokalot@desktop>                                                               ~ 17:07

ook grappig

Dat is ook de output, wat je op dat forum zag was de source

code:

lynx -dump www.ilse.nl | less

[voodooless]

Niet echt Non-windows, maar meer algemene humor, ik vond het echter zo leuk dat ik hem toch maar post:


[vertaling: Hallo Schat, ik heb die diskette gevonden die je gisteren zo erg gezocht had]

Ik lag helemaal dubbel

[CyBeR]

deepspace schreef op 10 September 2003 @ 23:22:
Niet echt Non-windows, maar meer algemene humor, ik vond het echter zo leuk dat ik hem toch maar post:

[afbeelding]
[vertaling: Hallo Schat, ik heb die diskette gevonden die je gisteren zo erg gezocht had]

Ik lag helemaal dubbel

Volgens mij staat er meer iets in de trant van 'oy, niet deeplinken, slettebak!'. Maar dan zonder dat slettebak gedeelte.

[Sprite_tm]

Fun in de Icecast-server: (blaaaaat is dus door mij ingetikt en is idd niet echt een valid HTTP-iets)

jeroen@sprite:~$ telnet localhost 8888




Trying 127.0.0.1...




Connected to sprite.sprite.




Escape character is '^]'.




blaaaaaaat




HTTP/1.0 306 Grow up

Server: icecast/1.3.11-debian




Connection: close




Content-Type: text/html









<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//IETF//DTD HTML//EN">




<html>




<head>




<title>306 Request all messed up</title>




</head>









<body>




<h1>306 Request all messed up</h1>




The request your application sent to the server makes




no more sense than... well.. women with clothes on <br>




<hr>




</body>




</html>




Connection closed by foreign host.




jeroen@sprite:~$

En nog 1:



jeroen@sprite:~$ lynx -mime-header http://slashdot.org/ | head







En let dan op de X-bender en X-fry headers.

[ Voor 12% gewijzigd door Sprite_tm op 11-09-2003 03:02 ]

[thomasfilius]

deepspace schreef op 10 september 2003 @ 23:22:
[vertaling: Hallo Schat, ik heb die diskette gevonden die je gisteren zo erg gezocht had]

Ja bedankt voor het vinden en voor het verneuken van de disk met dat fijne koelkast magneetje

[Anoniem: 16053]

thomasfilius schreef op 11 September 2003 @ 09:32:
[...]


Ja bedankt voor het vinden en voor het verneuken van de disk met dat fijne koelkast magneetje

een grap uitleggen

[CyBeR]

Anoniem: 16053 schreef op 11 September 2003 @ 10:18:
[...]


een grap uitleggen

maar ik snappum nieeee!

[the_shadow]

Schop!

Zo, ik neem toch niet aan dat er verder geen humor meer te vinden is in niet-Microsoft-OS (of voor kort Windows) land. Hit me with more humor

[smoking2000]

Why is OpenServer still so successful? The reasons are clear:

* Rock solid stability and dependability – operates round the clock, 365 days a year
* Secure – sensitive business and client data is kept confidential
* New releases preserve application compatibility– protects application investments
* Unbeatable value in terms of price and reliability running on Intel hardware.

SCO OpenServer Pagina

Why is OpenServer still so successful? The reasons are clear:

* Stolen Linux code – operates round the clock, 365 days a year
* Secure - sensitive business and client data is kept confidential
* New releases preserve application compatibility – protects application investments
* Unbeatable value in terms of price and reliability running on Intel hardware

De parodie

Nog een speciaal voor The_Shadow
SlashNOT. Parody or Satire? You decide.

[ Voor 7% gewijzigd door smoking2000 op 19-09-2003 16:50 ]

[AlterEgo]

Linus en Alan hebben een open brief naar de EU gestuurd m.b.t. software patenten (bron)

Meesterlijke reactie:

Well, do you believe these guys have any impact in Brussels?

Maybe if you drop them from 20,000 meters.

bron

[smoking2000]

Fyodor (Autheur van Nmap) heeft het niet zo op Distributed.net geloof ik:

The Connect() Scan took 95 seconds to scan 1554 ports.
Interesting ports on *.*.*.*
(The 1542 ports scanned but not shown below are in state: closed)
Port State Service
2064/tcp open distrib-net-losers

Final times for host: srtt: 255035 rttvar: 205341 to: 1076399

[wzzrd]

AlterEgo schreef op 22 September 2003 @ 15:32:
Linus en Alan hebben een open brief naar de EU gestuurd m.b.t. software patenten (bron)

Meesterlijke reactie:

[...]

bron

Flauw eigenlijk die reactie: Linus en Alan proberen het tenminste, da's meer dan jij en ik kunnen zeggen... Linus Alan

[Anoniem: 21785]

smoking2000 schreef op 01 August 2003 @ 11:05:

"And the beast shall be made legion. Its numbers shall be increased a thousand thousand fold. The din of a million keyboards like unto a great storm shall cover the earth, and the followers of Mammon shall tremble.
from The Book of Mozilla, 3:31
(Red Letter Edition)"

[url=about:mozilla]about:mozilla[/url]

Tegenwoordig in Firebird:

And so at last the beast fell and the unbelievers rejoiced. But all was not lost, for from the ash rose a great bird. The bird gazed down upon the unbelievers and cast fire and thunder upon them. For the beast had been reborn with its strength renewed, and the followers of Mammon cowered in horror.

from The Book of Mozilla, 7:15

(about:mozilla in IE is ook grappig).

[MagicTempest]

das per build, of per keer dat je het opvraagt verschillend, ik krijg namelijk een andere

[tech-no-logical]

beetje vaag, maar deze kwam ik tegen toen ik mijn inn-overview-problemen aan 't debuggen was :

-bash-2.05b$ telnet news.demon.nl 119
Trying 216.168.3.44...
Connected to news.demon.nl.
Escape character is '^]'.
200 Supernews NNRP server ready - http://www.supernews.com (posting ok)
mode reader
200 Supernews NNRP server ready - http://www.supernews.com (posting ok)
group nl.comp.os.linux.discussie
211 6882 57194 64075 nl.comp.os.linux.discussie group selected
head 64075
221 64074 <[e-mail]> article retrieved
header geknipt
get 64074 <-- fout ! had moeten zijn 'body 64074'
500 this is not an HTTP server, goodbye
Connection closed by foreign host.

[Yalopa]

van de mozilla site: http://www.mozilla.org/start/

So if you're not running the latest milestone, we could use your help testing either that or the latest nightly build. (Be warned that nightly builds are development software, and there is no guarantee that they won't fry your processor, insult your mother, or cause you to break out in a nasty rash.)

is nog eens een originele disclaimer

[AlterEgo]

[wzzrd]

Is dat een serieuze reclame? Wat suf.
Filosofisch vraagje trouwens: de vorige non-windows humor draad ging dicht door een te groot aantal anti-MS posts. Gaat deze straks dicht wegens een te groot aantal pro-MS anti-Linux posts als deze hierboven (of interpreteer ik die pinguins verkeerd?)?

[AlterEgo]

wzzrd schreef op 05 October 2003 @ 11:47:
Is dat een serieuze reclame? Wat suf.
Filosofisch vraagje trouwens: de vorige non-windows humor draad ging dicht door een te groot aantal anti-MS posts. Gaat deze straks dicht wegens een te groot aantal pro-MS anti-Linux posts als deze hierboven (of interpreteer ik die pinguins verkeerd?)?

Focus eens wat meer op het woord humor

[Tux]

Dat plaatje ziet er wel grappig uit maar wat ze in die tekst in de rechter bovenhoek beweren

Ze beweren namelijk dat een 'offenes betriebssystem' zomaar op elk moment radicaal kan veranderen, en dat in Windows2000 makkelijk te onderhouden is en dus goedkoper is

[mocean]

Het is geen OS, maar wel leuk:

[x-force]

uit de PHPMyAdmin documentatie:

Requirements
- PHP3, PHP4 or PHP5: phpMyAdmin widely uses the 'str_replace()' PHP function that was added in PHP 3.0.6, but was buggy up until PHP 3.0.8. Then you should not run this script with PHP3 < 3.0.8.
PHP also needs to be compiled with MySQL support;
If you want to display inline thumbnails of JPEGs with the original aspect ratio, you also need GD2 support in PHP.
- MySQL 3.21 or newer (details);
- a web-browser (doh!).

[raymondw]

[raymondw@redhat9 raymondw]# tar cf archive.tar
tar: Cowardly refusing to create an empty archive
Try 'tar --help' for more information

sommige tikfouten geven leuk reacties.....

[Rafe]

quote: http://www.bash.org/?10686

<astroDZ> i brought back marlbro 100s
<astroDZ> a carton of them to smoke
<astroDZ> i was told that were was enuff tar in 1 pack , to zip up all of freebsd and openbsd
<astroDZ> anyone care to confirm?

quote: http://bash.org/?152037

<dm> I discovered that you'd never get an answer to a problem from Linux Gurus by asking. You have to troll in order for someone to help you with a Linux problem.
<dm> For example, I didn't know how to find files by contents and the man pages were way too confusing. What did I do? I knew from experience that if I just asked, I'd be told to read the man pages even though it was too hard for me.
<dm> Instead, I did what works. Trolling. By stating that Linux sucked because it was so hard to find a file compared to Windows, I got every self-described Linux Guru around the world coming to my aid. They gave me examples after examples of different ways to do it. All this in order to prove to everyone that Linux was better.
* ion has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
<dm> brings a tear to my eye... so true..
<dm> So if you're starting out Linux, I advise you to use the same method as I did to get help. Start the sentence with "Linux is gay because it can't do XXX like Windows can". You will have PhDs running to tell you how to solve your problems.
<dm> this person must be a kindred spirit of mine

[ Voor 75% gewijzigd door Rafe op 12-10-2003 01:05 ]

[DiedX]

diedx:/updates/apf-0.9.1# nmap -sU localhost -p0-65535
WARNING: Scanning "port 0" is supported, but unusual.

Starting nmap 3.45 ( http://www.insecure.org/nmap/ ) at 2003-10-17 16:17 CEST
send_udp_raw: One or more of your parameters suck!
send_udp_raw: One or more of your parameters suck!

[Anoniem: 25021]

Op de website van Bell Labs staat ook nog wel wat UNIX fun:
http://cm.bell-labs.com/cm/cs/who/dmr/otherunix.html

[Anoniem: 25021]

Unix gives you just enough rope to hang yourself -- and then a couple
of more feet, just to be sure.
-- Eric Allman

... We make rope.
-- Rob Gingell on Sun Microsystem's new virtual memory.

[deadinspace]

Vanmiddag gemaakt

[Bor]

deepspace schreef op 10 september 2003 @ 23:22:
Niet echt Non-windows, maar meer algemene humor, ik vond het echter zo leuk dat ik hem toch maar post:

[afbeelding]
[vertaling: Hallo Schat, ik heb die diskette gevonden die je gisteren zo erg gezocht had]

Ik lag helemaal dubbel

Je maakt er wel een rare vertaling van

[smoking2000]

I saw my whole life flash before my eyes:
rm -rfv ~/

[deadinspace]

Deze is ook wel grappig btw:

[marcelm@something marcelm]$ w3m shit
w3m: Can't load shit.

[RVW]

Een kleine selectie van: http://www.joyoftech.com/

[ Voor 12% gewijzigd door RVW op 14-11-2003 15:08 ]

[Anoniem: 46945]

die kwam ik pas tegen, vond hem wel grappig:

LX-i wrote

> > i am looking for a cobol mode for emacs or a cobol editor for GNU/Linux.
> > thanks
>
> I don't know if there's a console-mode GVIM or not, but it works pretty
> well. It flags lines with footprints past column 72 as errors, even if
> they're commented with *>, but other than that, it does highlight syntax
> and such.

Isn't suggesting that an emacs user look at a vi clone like offering a
ham and cheese sandwich to a Rabbi ?

[ Voor 8% gewijzigd door Anoniem: 46945 op 14-11-2003 17:12 ]

[Anoniem: 28844]

Over de SCO zaak:

[Anoniem: 44800]

Ook meer algemene humor, maar ik vind deze wel errug mooi :

[MagicTempest]

Oeh, kewl, wij hebben hier nog een stapel hack-tic's liggen

[Anoniem: 25021]

Ik ben goed bezig vandaag....

cannot find "xterm" to start a failsafe session.

pc1 login: rood
Password:
Login incorrect

[ Voor 25% gewijzigd door Anoniem: 25021 op 18-11-2003 21:22 . Reden: typo, en nog een.... ]

[TripleM]

De meeste humor is een beetje te intelligent voor mij als relatieve NOS n00b, maar sinds ik fanatiek sudo op mijn OpenBSD machine en soms wat sneller wil typen dan ik eigenlijk kan, zie ik soms weleens één van onderstaande regels verschijnen:

$ sudo bla
Password:
Maybe if you used more than just two fingers...
Password:
stty: unknown mode: doofus
Password:
I've seen penguins that can type better than that.
sudo: 3 incorrect password attempts

$ sudo bla
Password:
Are you on drugs?
Password:
You type like i drive.
Password:
Do you think like you type?
sudo: 3 incorrect password attempts

Ik vind die nmap humor trouwens wel ontzettend grappig!

[AlterEgo]

Toshiba technical Support.

Let op de advertentie onderaan het scherm:



[edit] Grrr, ze hebben de text veranderd Er stond: "Protecxt your PC from microsoft"

Toen ben ik maar Linux gaan draaien

[ Voor 17% gewijzigd door AlterEgo op 20-11-2003 09:51 . Reden: grapje is om zeep geholpen. ]

[Cavorka]

Vandaag in de krant, is wel geen software, maar ik moest er zeker om lachen:

Uitvergroot:


3 x hoera voor de VERTALERXL. +

[ Voor 12% gewijzigd door Cavorka op 19-11-2003 12:17 ]

[Spider.007]

AlterEgo schreef op 19 november 2003 @ 10:03:
Toshiba technical Support.

Let op de advertentie onderaan het scherm:

[afbeelding]

Toen ben ik maar Linux gaan draaien

haha.. ik lig dubbel hier Super!

[voodooless]

Voedbal vandaag Je zou zeggen dat is niets voor NOS, maar toch leuk om te vermelden: kijk rechts boven in beeld : "NED - SCO"


[gelukkig wint SCO vandaag niet ]

[ Voor 34% gewijzigd door voodooless op 19-11-2003 21:44 ]

[pinball]

[pierre-oord]

Pinball schreef op 23 november 2003 @ 16:08:

[afbeelding]

ROFL

Ik zit nu al een uur dit topic te lezen wel grappig. Ben pas kort met linux bezig, ik ga nu na m'n eerste server te hebben opgezet ook maar eens de grafische interface proberen

Overigens vond ik die mop van die vliegmaatschappijen wel een van de leukste, hoe oud die ook mag zijn volgens jullie

[AlterEgo]

This project uses the power of Linux to add brains to the Big Mouth Billy Bass. The goal is to use any Linux device--desktop or embedded--to make the Big Mouth Billy Bass say or act any way you want! That's right, we want to convert Big Mouth Billy to the least expensive peripheral you'll ever buy.

Ja DIE


How-to

[Anoniem: 24181]

http://www.hardmac.com/niouzcontenu.php?date=2003-09-27#667

You may remember these news about the potential danger represented by SCO's lawsuit against IBM ? Well, here's a nice announcement of mine: this absurd comedy has come to an end.

Let's review the piece together:

Act 1, scene 1: SCO files suit against IBM on March the 6th, 2003, asking for a billion dollars in damages, stating that IBM incorporated SCO-licensed code into the Linux kernel. Then SCO demands that IBM stops selling AIX, which contains SysV code upon which SCO has rights. IBM refuses, arguing that their right to use this code is non-revocable (this right was obtained after the ATT/Berkeley lawsuit, because SysV contained code from BSD). Daringly, SCO declares IBM's licence revoked. IBM does not give in and continues selling AIX.

Act 1, scene 2: SCO multiplies by three the amount of damages and throws some public accusations, swiftly dismissed, about technology exports regulations and Linux's symmetric multiprocessing support.

Act 1, scene 3: RedHat comes onstage and files suit against SCO to establish themselves innocent. They mount a legal fund up to a million dollars.

Act 1, scene 4: SCO declares having proof of the infringement, but refuses to show it ?


The curtain falls, and the audience (Linux users) holds their breath.


Act 2, scene 1: SCO attacks again declaring they'll charge $699 per processor every Linux user (audience's uncontrolled and uninterrupted laughter lasts minutes).

Act 2, scene 2: In an even more daring move, SCO's lawyer, Boies, declares the GPL invalid, because it authorises multiple copies while the law obliges to authorise at least one copy. Audience rolls on the floor laughing.

Act 2, scene 3: SCO's "proof" is diffused. It appears that it is BSD-licensed code, SCO has no copyright on it whatsoever. Bruce Perens formally recognizes the BSD code, some of which was "borrowed" by SGI. Bursts of laughter erupt.

Act 2, scene 4: Dennis Ritchie and Ken Thompson, inventors of the C programming language and co-authors of UNIX, state they wrote (one or the other) the code presented by SCO as "proof". Audience's laughs again, though the repetition comic is wearing.


Intermission, spectators pause for breathing.


Act 3, scene 1: SCO is fined 10000 euro and ordered to shut up in Germany after a short duel. Audience claps vigorously.

Act 3, scene 2: LinuxWorld's Paul Nowak challenges SCO, and scars them on the face, exposing to the public that SCO ignores everything about its own code.

Act 3, scene 3: Boies, SCO's lawyer, is hit by three ethics charges, from behind. Spectators hold their breath: will he survive his wounds ?

Act 3, scene 4: IBM stuns SCO with a well-placed copyright violation plaint. SCO's stock loses 17% in a few hours, and spectators realise that SCO has distributed, under their own non-GPL licence, code thatspectators themselves have written, violating the copyright of virtually every single Linux contributor ! The audience stands up and stomps SCO dead.


The End

[Martin Sturm]

http://www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/joyimages/344.gif

Dat is geen humor, dat is gewoon werkelijkheid (ik heb een klas vol met die werkelijkheid )

[AlterEgo]

(flash) Dit is echt de vre-se-lijkste commercial die ik in lange tijden gezien heb :)

[Robtimus]

AlterEgo schreef op 30 november 2003 @ 15:48:
(flash) Dit is echt de vre-se-lijkste commercial die ik in lange tijden gezien heb :)

GEWELDIG!!

En het is nog van lindows zelf ook!

[Illegal_Alien]

IceManX schreef op 30 november 2003 @ 17:08:
[...]
GEWELDIG!!

En het is nog van lindows zelf ook!

Lindows is 10x niks, dan heb ik liever een RH, of Mandrake Linux

[Robtimus]

Illegal_Alien schreef op 30 november 2003 @ 17:41:
[...]


Lindows is 10x niks, dan heb ik liever een RH, of Mandrake Linux

Ik doelde niet op Lindows, maar op de reclame, die is gewoon hilarisch. Lindows lijkt mij ook totaal niks.

[wzzrd]

AlterEgo schreef op 30 november 2003 @ 15:48:
(flash) Dit is echt de vre-se-lijkste commercial die ik in lange tijden gezien heb :)

Niet. Het is het meest l337e gebruik van flash ooit. Het heerscht. Het is wreed. Wat een ownage. Hij is écht kicken, die commercial. "Bill want XP to be as slick" ROFLOL!

Maar goed, to the point, ik vraag me af in welk proggie ze die flash movie gepruts0rd hebben.

[TeasingU]

Die Michael Robertson geeft (in zijn nieuwsbrieven) toe dat voor sommige doeleinden nog geen Lindows alternatief is. Dus is het waarschijnlijk met Macromedia Flash op een Mac of pc met Windows gemaakt.

Een van de pluspunten van Lindows, er wordt best wel open over gedaan.

[wzzrd]

TeasingU schreef op 30 november 2003 @ 19:25:
Een van de pluspunten van Lindows open source, er wordt best wel open over gedaan.

[Illegal_Alien]

TeasingU schreef op 30 november 2003 @ 19:25:
Die Michael Robertson geeft (in zijn nieuwsbrieven) toe dat voor sommige doeleinden nog geen Lindows alternatief is. Dus is het waarschijnlijk met Macromedia Flash op een Mac of pc met Windows gemaakt.

Een van de pluspunten van Lindows, er wordt best wel open over gedaan.

Lindows is niet open je moet er nog flink voor $$$$$$$$ ook voor dat oneclickand go ding kost $$ Maar genoeg offtopic

[smoking2000]

The linux X-File

[COMPUTING LAB - WEST VIRGINIA (No great loss coming up)]

We see a Pimply Faced Youth working over a terminal. Suddenly he looks
up at the screen, scrabbles frantically with the keyboard, then shields
his face with his arms, screaming

[LATER THAT DAY]

Mulder: So what do you think?

Scully: Well, I'd have to run an autopsy to be sure, but I believe that
he may have suffered some form of seizure; judging by the expression
frozen on the victims face, it would appear that death was not
instantaneous.

Mulder: So you think he saw knew that he was having a seizure?

Scully: Yes, I believe he probably had some form or aura, not unlike
that which sufferers of epilepsy encounter before their attacks.

Mulder: Hmm

Scully: You don't seem convinced?

Mulder: I don't know. You'd think that if he'd had an aura, as you call
it, he would know what to expect, in which case it would seem strange
that it hadn't proved fatal, or at least requiring his hospitalisation
before this?

Scully: This could just have been a particularly bad example.

Mulder: I dunno..

Scully: You have some other theory?

Mulder: Well, judging by the evidence - the computing lab, the geeky
haircut and way out of date clothes, not to mention B.O. smell, I'd say
he was killed by the computer.

Scully: That's ridiculous

Mulder, how can a computer kill someone?

Mulder: No, not the computer

Scully, something in it. Look...

Scully: What is it?

Mulder: It's a plastic bag, probably used to cover a cheaply written
CD-Rom

Scully: YOU THINK HE WAS KILLED BY PIRATED SOFTWARE?!?

Mulder: Worse

Scully, I think he was killed by the Unix Standard.

Scully: THAT'S RIDICULOUS

Mulder! You know there's no such thing!

Mulder: I'm not so sure. Take a look at the victim some more. Note the
absence of razor blades to slit his wrists with nor 200 jar of aspirin
to swallow with some Vodka. This is no Microsoft user. And see his PC is
way overpopulated with memory. I think it was the Unix Standard.

Scully: That's crazy

Mulder. He might be running some store-bought non-standard on his
machine.

Mulder: I'm not convinced

Scully, all the evidence points that way.

Scully: ALL THE EVIDENCE?

Mulder, just because the Man didn't appear suicidal doesn't mean he
wasn't killed by some other product! Have you ever used Exchange to get
your email?! Or used America Online?

Mulder: No, I think it was the Unix Standard

Scully:

Mulder! It's just a story, a myth, invented by aged Computer Scientists
to justify the fact that they don't want to go back into the real world
to work!

Mulder: I grant you that that might be the case occasionally, but this
time I think I'm right.

Scully: Well you must have more than you're telling me.

Mulder: Well maybe I have..

Scully: What is it?

Mulder:

Scully, I never told you this, but after my sister disappeared I was at
a loose end. I had trouble sleeping, and my schoolwork went down the
tubes.

Scully: Disrupted sleep and study habits are quite common in emotional
trauma situations

Mulder and I don't see tha..

Mulder: My parents tried to improve my academic situation by buying me a
computer. A Sinclair ZX80.

Scully: And this is where you got your crazy idea?

Mulder: No. Just listen! One night I was up late, writing a Goodbye
World program when the room was filled with a bright light. My arms and
legs felt heavy, and I was unable to move. When I came to, my computer
was gone.

Scully: You're saying aliens abducted your computer too?

Mulder: Yes. I know it sounds strange, but it happened.

Scully: I'm sure there must be a logical explanation for this, a
lightening storm. Maybe your machine fell out your bedroom window.

Mulder: Then how come it was back in my room the next morning?

Scully: You must have dreamed it then. The dream was simply so vivid
that you mixed it up with reali..

Mulder: Just LISTEN! I thought that too. But then I switched my machine
on...

Scully: What happened?

Mulder: It booted linux.

Scully: That's crazy, linux wasn't even around then!

Mulder: Well, not officially anyway.

Scully: You're saying that your machine having a pre-linux version of
linux on it is somehow related to this case?

Mulder: I think so

Scully: But linux isn't the Unix Standard!

Mulder: Try telling a linux user that.

Scully: So what are you saying?

Mulder: I'm saying that maybe this whole linux development, you know,
with contributions etc from the public domain, is just a way of making
linux the definitive Unix Standard.

Scully: Then how do you explain it appearing on your machine?

Mulder: That's just it! It can't possibly have appeared on my machine
all those years ago. Unless...

Scully: Unless what

Mulder?

Mulder: Unless linux was written by the aliens, and all this Public
Domain stuff is just a cover up...

[A ROOM IN THE UN BUILDING]

FatMan: It would appear that Agent Mulder has found out about the
software

CancerMan: Mulder knows nothing. He's got no proof.

FatMan: We can't have him getting any closer to the truth.

CancerMan: He can't and he won't. I've taken steps to ensure this.

FatMan: What steps?

CancerMan: I've had OSF-1 installed on the victim's machine. And six
bottles of aspirin left laying around. It's unlikely that the
investigation team will survive.

FatMan: What about Mulder?

CancerMan: He'll shortly have other red herrings to fry..

[FBI HEADQUARTERS]

Skinner: Whilst I appreciate the work you have put into this, I'm
recommending that the case be closed as a non-X file.

Mulder: You can't! The people have a right to know that aliens are
abducting their machines and installing linux on them to track their
machines!

Skinner: The case no longer has top priority.

Mulder: Well what HAS?

Skinner: We heard that Microsoft was releasing software that wasn't
based on someone else's ideas. We're worried that the core temperature
of Hell might be dropping.

Mulder: I'll get right onto it.

Scully: But we must always bear in mind that some things just cannot be
explained...

bron

[TeasingU]

wzzrd & Illegal_Alien,

Ik bedoelde 'open' in de zin van eerlijkheid.

Hoe dan ook hebben jullie allebei gelijk.

[Bramster]

check de tijd

code:

 linux-2.6.0-test11.tar.bz2      26-Nov-2003 13:37  31.7M

(zo staat die dus op kernel.org)

[RSpliet]

AlterEgo schreef op 30 november 2003 @ 15:48:
(flash) Dit is echt de vre-se-lijkste commercial die ik in lange tijden gezien heb :)

De MP3 versie is niet meer te downloaden helaas . Gelukkig heeft Creative een leuk tooltje geschreven/gejat waardoor ik de muziek zojuist heb kunnen jatten en met Magix om heb kunnen zetten in MP3 formaat . Als iemand uploadruimte heeft, wil ik m er best neerkwakken .

[sebas]

net tegengekomen in comp.lang.python:

> Is there any fuzzy logic package?
70% Yes -- see http://www.biostat.wisc.edu/~annis/creations/PyLisp/
20% Sorta Yes -- see http://starship.python.net/crew/seehof/NeuralPython.html
10% No real code but there are toy examples

Uit een fortunecookie:

A is for awk, which runs like a snail, and
B is for biff, which reads all your mail.
C is for cc, as hackers recall, while
D is for dd, the command that does all.
E is for emacs, which rebinds your keys, and
F is for fsck, which rebuilds your trees.
G is for grep, a clever detective, while
H is for halt, which may seem defective.
I is for indent, which rarely amuses, and
J is for join, which nobody uses.
K is for kill, which makes you the boss, while
L is for lex, which is missing from DOS.
M is for more, from which less was begot, and
N is for nice, which it really is not.
O is for od, which prints out things nice, while
P is for passwd, which reads in strings twice.
Q is for quota, a Berkeley-type fable, and
R is for ranlib, for sorting ar table.
S is for spell, which attempts to belittle, while
T is for true, which does very little.
U is for uniq, which is used after sort, and
V is for vi, which is hard to abort.
W is for whoami, which tells you your name, while
X is, well, X, of dubious fame.
Y is for yes, which makes an impression, and
Z is for zcat, which handles compression.
-- THE ABC'S OF UNIX

[Anoniem: 62708]

als je gaat neuzen in de FAQ bij GRIP, het laatste puntje:

Q: I was listening to a cd in Grip and it sounded horrible! What's up?
A: Perhaps you are listening to country music...

[RSpliet]

Als je in Gnome rechtsklikt op de taakbalk en vervolgens voor 'paneel-info' kiest, krijg je n kleine popup met de tekst:

Het GNOME-paneel 2.2.0.1
Dit programma is verantwoordelijk voor het starten van andere toepassingen, het inbedden van applets, de wereldvrede en willekeurige crashes van X.

[Anoniem: 27642]

2.4.1 heeft dat iig niet meer. (met language gewoon op engels)

The GNOME Panel 2.4.1
This program is responsible for launching other applications and embedding small applets within itself.

[RSpliet]

dan mag ik toch eens gaan updaten

[Eastern]

Anoniem: 27642 schreef op 12 december 2003 @ 15:10:
2.4.1 heeft dat iig niet meer. (met language gewoon op engels)


[...]

De nederlandse ook niet meer

[Eastern]

In Gnome Vis / Wanda:

Wanda heeft totaal geen nut. Het kost slechts schijfruimte en processortijd, en, indien geladen, ook kostbare ruimte in het paneel en het geheugen. Als iemand betrapt wordt op het gebruiken ervan, dient hij ogenblikkelijk een psychiatrisch onderzoek te ondergaan.

[Anoniem: 28145]

Stukje text uit /etc/termcap (deze file is in 2001 voor het laatst gewijzigd, dus de sneer is niet gebaseerd op de huidige ontwikkelingen):


# COPYRIGHTS AND OTHER DELUSIONS
#
# The BSD ancestor of this file had a standard Regents of the University of
# California copyright with dates from 1980 to 1993.
#
# Some information has been merged in from a terminfo file SCO distributes.
# It has an obnoxious boilerplate copyright which I'm ignoring because they
# took so much of the content from the ancestral BSD versions of this file
# and didn't attribute it, thereby violating the BSD Regents' copyright.
#
# Not that anyone should care. However many valid functions copyrights may
# serve, putting one on a termcap/terminfo file with hundreds of anonymous
# contributors makes about as much sense as copyrighting a wall-full of
# graffiti -- it's legally dubious, ethically bogus, and patently ridiculous.
#
# This file deliberately has no copyright. It belongs to no one and everyone.
# If you claim you own it, you will merely succeed in looking like a fool.
# Use it as you like. Use it at your own risk. Copy and redistribute freely.
# There are no guarantees anywhere. Svaha!

[smoking2000]

[ Voor 4% gewijzigd door smoking2000 op 17-12-2003 17:01 ]

[Olaf van der Spek]

http://info.lindows.com/LindowsRock/LindowsRock.swf (dubbelpost)

[ Voor 12% gewijzigd door Olaf van der Spek op 18-12-2003 10:20 ]

[Anoniem: 2022]

vervolg op smoking2000:

[Anoniem: 27915]

Voor de anime-geilerds onder ons: Hot Babe! .

Hot-babe is a small graphical utility which display the system activity in a very special way. When the CPU is idle, it displays a dressed girl, and when the activity goes up, as the temperature increases, the girl begins to undress, to finish totally naked when the system activity reaches 100%. Of course, if you can be shocked by nudity, don't use it!

Voor de duidelijkheid een plaatje als je een "while [ true ]; do niks; done" loopje doet:

[the_shadow]

smoking2000 schreef op 17 december 2003 @ 17:01:
[afbeelding]

Dies cool. Ik heb deze ook in Madrid op tv gezien (was in de herfstvakantie) en daar was het een reclame voor IBM. Ik vind hem wel goed .

[netsensei916]

[url=http://[e-mail]/]let op de URL[/url]

/strijk